


Marshmallow Sandwiches and Porch Lights

by fourredfruits



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, F/M, Implied/Referenced Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 16:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17852831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourredfruits/pseuds/fourredfruits
Summary: Five always comes back for his little sister. That's just how it is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know Five is physically too young in the series but I couldn't help it. I actually did want to write about Vanya's sandwiches so maybe I'll continue later. I watched the whole season in a single night and have to go to work soon.

All of the seven Hargreeves children were born on the exact same day in 1989 but for some reason, Vanya had always been the baby sister in all aspects. Even though she would not admit it, everyone was, in their own way and to a certain degree, protective of her and just as she remembered so well, they were also all dismissive towards her. When they were still small kids, she would follow the rest of them around with that sad and needy look on her face which was actually annoying as much as endearing. They were all miserable in that monster of a house and they were hopelessly young.

Number Five knew that he was not the best brother in the world and frankly, he thought he’d feel insulted if anyone ever thought he was. But with Vanya, he always felt like he should try at least. It was not the warm and tender kind of a feeling. Rather, it felt like he was mercilessly annoyed into trying to be nice to her because if she looked like she was about to burst into tears, he instantly felt sick to his stomach. He did not want to comfort her. The thought of standing in front of crying Vanya was terrifying. He never told it to anyone, though.

So when Vanya was locked up like a dangerous animal by their siblings, oh that _look_ on her face, it burned and twisted his insides. The awful hints of insanity were already gleaming inside those wide brown eyes. Regardless, he wanted to open the door but no, of course he couldn’t, stupid. Five could not risk the life of every living thing on this planet by letting her out only because he could not stand the sight of his emotionally unstable sister going crazy in a metal cage. That’s why he decided to go inside instead.

Vanya did not notice him for some time because she was already busy talking to someone Five could not see.  
“Vanya.”  
Her head twitched to the side.  
“Five?”  
“Yes.”  
That was all she needed to hear before starting to cry silently and Five hated himself.  
“You are here. I, I had a really scary dream. You were gone and I had no one to talk to in the house anymore. I left a sandwich, turned on the light every night but you didn’t come back.”  
Vanya never spoke this much anymore. She never smiled or cried much. This Vanya was more like the girl he left behind too many years ago.

“I always come back for you. I always did.”  
He said matter-of-factly and grimaced as if those words tasted unbearably bitter.  
“Yeah, yeah, I know but like, you left this time for good. And this one time was enough for me not to be able to see you ever again.”  
She was not making much sense and she trailed off as if she too realized that something was not right. Her hair started to dance in the air but no wind was blowing inside the tightly sealed container.

“You are not real,” said Vanya finally, her snow white eyes gleaming and her voice eerily dreamy.  
“I am, Vanya. I am here.”  
“No. You died and l left the house.”  
Then she added to herself quietly, “a long time ago.”  
This time he could actually feel the sharp winds inside the cage whirling dangerously. His instincts told him to get the hell out of here.

He swallowed and said, “I came back, remember? To save all of you.”  
She shook her head slowly with a slight open mouth, her eyes unfocused.  
“No, to save _them_.”  
And he ran.

-

This one time, Vanya followed them on a mission and something bad happened. Well, actually it did not happen on the mission itself but only after because everyone, high on adrenaline as much as victory, forgot that Vanya existed. Not only her siblings but her father forgot her, too. Meanwhile, some men took her in a car and, well, since Vanya didn’t remember much and no one was alive to tell the whole story, they didn’t know what exactly happened that day.

Five came back for her. He would have killed all of them but unfortunately the men who took her were all lying in puddles of their own blood. Vanya was standing in the middle of the dark garage, her face was covered with cuts and dried blood. She was bruised all over and looked like she might collapse at any minute but her smile was wide, innocent and beautiful when she saw him.

“Five.”  
“Vanya, are you okay?”  
“You came back.”  
“I…. I will always come back for you.”  
“I was so scared, Five. I thought everyone forgot about me.”  
“I promise, I’ll always come for you, Vanya.”  
He was a child then but he knew it was a promise he could never break-if he did, it would be when he finally loses her.

"I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becoming more like a collection of drabbles but I'm trying to piece them together. I'm trying.

That night when Five almost stayed over at Vanya’s place –because she now has her own place, living all by herself, an adult-, he told her about the end not because he thought she could help him prevent it but because he wanted her to know that he will not let it happen. Or perhaps he was simply telling himself that and if he said it in front of her, he knew that he couldn’t break it.

 

That night, he also said, “I feel too old and too young all at once,” when she asked him how he was.

“Well, I also feel like that sometimes,” the corner of her mouth turned up slightly.

“Though, yes, it must feel strange. But I am just glad that you are here now, Five,” and she paused, looked him in the eyes and said,  

“I’ve missed you.”

He stared back at her. This Vanya was all grown up but also so painfully young. He had known how she would’ve looked like from the author’s picture of Vanya’s book. He carried it with him all the time. It was a comforting presence which reminded him that he had a place to go back.

“I know.”

“Do you now?”

“You wrote that in your book.”

He could see the tip of her ears turn red at that. She ducked her head and let out a soft laugh.

“I did.”

 

Later, he regretted telling her about the end of the world. He was even a little bit relieved that she didn’t believe it. Much later, he regretted not realizing how desperately lonely and sad she had been, so much so that she walked right into the arms of a crazy murderous psychopath. But when he realized it, it was kind of too late and he needed to get his priorities straight, right? If the world ended, there would be nothing to salvage.

 

-

 

People needed other people in order to survive. The years he spent alone-although he had his precious Dolores with him-made sure he understood it better than anyone. In retrospect, he thought he saw Vanya’s loneliness breaking her apart from the inside. The tragedy was not that she did not love her family but that she did love them dearly, all of them, with their own power which was a constant reminder of her ordinariness, uselessness, life-long feeling of isolation. She could never be one of them but she could not let go either. She loved them. They were all she had. And they were hurting her more than anything.

 

Five, one day, might have thought briefly to himself that he

-maybe in some other timeline far from the present one, perhaps one in which he wasn’t a tired, irritable old man in a thirteen-year-old body-

could have loved her like she needed.

As soon as the thought surfaced, it dissipated into the air. Five might not even have registered it passing through his mind. After all, it could never happen because it was not what she needed. Actually, it was the opposite of what she needed. It could never be him. It could be anyone but not him.

 

-

 

Setting priorities could do wonders. He found out that his sister was off somewhere with some crazy murderer and nonetheless, could think rationally and keep calm.

“The bastard that nearly killed our sister’s still out there, with Vanya. We need to go after her.”

“Vanya is not important.”

Diego stopped his pacing and looked up at Five.

“Hey, that’s your sister. That’s a little heartless even for you, Five.”

His patience ran out at that moment and he snapped, “I’m not saying I don’t care about her, but if the apocalypse happens today, she dies along with the other seven billion of us.”

 

_I will always come for you._

 

“Harold Jenkins is our first priority” He said it finally and Diego agreed easily enough.

 

As they left the house, Five laughed at himself silently because he couldn’t help but think about how Vanya deserved someone who would try to save her even if the world was ending in a minute. Instead, she only had a manipulative murderer as her lover and brothers who would abandon her to save the rest of the world. No wonder she was so broken.


End file.
